Friday, October 23, 2009

Truth and Mercy

Another baby shower tomorrow and I get to do the devotional again.  Yes, I did say tomorrow.  And, yes, I have been procrastinating....again.  But I have been thinking about it all week.  I so want to give her what God wants her to know and nothing of me.  I treasure having known Annika for almost 14 years, since she was 13 or 14.  I feel so privileged to be a part of half of her life!  That seems so crazy.  I have always needed people like her in my life to balance me.  She is so kind, gentle, patient, tender-hearted...  Her children will certainly be blessed.  I have to also say she has had some wonderful models, particularly her own mother.Truly, this will be a very blessed little princess!
So here goes...
Annika, 
      There are so many things I want to tell you.  I know that's shocking coming from me.  But it's true.  I think of all the sweet words of encouragement or advice I got when I was a new mom.  All I can think of now is how overwhelming it all felt.  I couldn't imagine how I was going to be all those things, all time.  I'll tell you what you already know, I wasn't all those things all the time.  I have probably made every mistake I vowed I would never make. I will forever be grateful for God's amazing and preserving grace.  That, in a nutshell is what I know God wants you to know.  GRACE.  As I have grown in my relationship with Christ I have just scratched the surface of all that grace is.  There are two words commonly linked throughout scripture that paint a picture of grace for us.  As we read verses containing them, we roll them off our tongues as if to get past them to get to the meat of the verse, and yet, without them there is no meat to the verse.  Mercy and Truth.  Mercy and Truth go hand in hand.  
      I could tell you the little things to do to minister to your precious new baby.  But something tells me that will not be a struggle to you.  I will tell you to always honor Jeff, which I know you will try to always do.  I could tell you to have a daily time with the Lord, and that may overwhelm you at times.  So many do's and don't's, so little time.  
     What I will encourage you with is that being a good mother has so much less to do with what you do than it has to do with who you are.  That is an encouraging thought to me as I think of you and Jeff as parents.  Every time a young couple who has a sincere devotion to the Lord is having a baby, my heart is glad.  I think that through the joys and sorrows, the trials and celebrations, the shaping and molding of your lives is making the world a better place and the cause of Christ is furthered. You'll certainly be raising and training her but she will also be used to train you.  What a wonderful cause for celebration!
      As you read the Scriptures you will see truth and mercy, kind and faithfulness, together.  Take the time to think of just that and all it means.   You have no doubt heard and read Proverbs 3:5 & 6 a few times so lets back up and take a look at the whole passage.  






<< Proverbs 3 >>
American King James Version



1 My son, forget not my law; but let your heart keep my commandments:2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to you.
3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you: bind them about your neck; write them on the table of your heart:
4 So shall you find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.









As I read this, I wonder, how would mercy and truth forsake me? The idea is not to let them get away  from your heart and mind.  Know God's heart and His character.   Of course the best way to do that is through His word.  But not in the sense of requirement but in relationship.  If you desire to be a good mother, strengthen your relationship with your Heavenly Father.  He wants you to know His commandments and perform them outwardly to others, binding them on your neck; and inwardly by writing them on your heart. The more you know Him the more you will know truth and mercy.  I sort of see them working like the muscles in your arms.  In truth you lift your child up, look her in her little eyes and teach, and in mercy you gently lower her back down and scoot her on her little way.  It's about balance.  Both are important.  Without truth you can never lift them up out of their sin and without mercy you will hurt them when you put them back down.  And what's more, it is a mercy to teach your children truth.  When God tells us not to do something, we are blessed by obeying because God's heart for us is good.  He wants to protect us and give us good things.

Scott and I have learned over the years how to balance one another.  Essentially, he is truth and I am mercy.  So who do you think the kids ask when they want something.  I have learned that both are important and I try to think first what Scott would say and if my argument to it would be valid.  :)  We know our natural instincts, mine is yes and Scott's is no.  It's so funny.  If I'm worn out it takes more out of me to say no whereas Scott is the opposite.  (which is probably wiser)  Either one of us on our own would be parenting out of balance and either spoil or exasperate our kids.  As we have matured in our relationship with each other and our relationship with the Lord we have learned to be more balanced individually.  In virtually every situation both truth and mercy are necessary.  The truth can be painful but will bring safety and wisdom and their hearts can be changed when truth is applied with mercy.  When we fail we need both to be corrected with truth so that we can learn from our mistake.  And we need mercy or else we would surely lose heart.  We need mercy to pick us back up and scoot us on our way.  That loving, forgiving, acceptance will enable us to walk out the truth we have learned.

These are just some thoughts to ponder as you are rocking your little sweetheart.  It will be hard to imagine at first ever needing to discipline but you know God's word tells us that foolishness is bound up in that cuddly little heart.  You will need to use the rod of reproof to drive it from her.  You won't have to teach her how to sin.  It comes naturally.  But as you spend time in God's word you will be prepared to deal with those things as they come.  And as the most familiar part of our passage goes, you'll be able to 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  And do not lean on your own understanding.  In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.'    God has confidently and intentionally give this particular little bundle of you joy to you and Jeff.  You are the perfect choice.  And as you trust in Him to direct you, you will be the best parents your children could ever have!





Saturday, October 10, 2009

No Mere Mortals

I'm doing the devotional at a baby shower tomorrow for a a friend having her 4th baby.  I honestly can't imagine what I could tell her about that.  The 3rd kid tipped the scale for me.  My orderly life got set on it's ear with that one.  But then we always have anywhere from just my 3 to 6 or 7 kids in our home.  I love that. And that I can send them home.  I absolutely believe that children are a blessing from the Lord.  He has used mine to shape me and mature me.  I have always been mindful of how the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.  We, as mothers, can impact our little communities to the larger global community by the way we raise our kids.  But recently I have been pondering a quote by C.S. Lewis, "There are no mere mortals."  It is amazing to think of how we can impact people for generations but even more amazing is the thought of how we impact eternities.  What a weighty thought.  Were it not for the infinite, matchless grace of Jesus I would be utterly overwhelmed.  To realize that the way I interact with my husband and children foremost has a direct effect on their eternities! Who am I?  Why would anyone give me that kind of power?  I will mess up.  It's one thing to carry the burden of a lifetime but so much more the eternity.  Fortunately, I am simply a tool in the Father's hand and it is He who shapes their destiny.
Unlike your average hammer and chisel, we are not inanimate, emotionless objects but flesh and blood emotional beings.   I almost wish I could be a lifeless object in the Father's hand but I have this will that I must keep surrendering to His in order to be most useful.  So as I consider the weight of the sacred trust I have been blessed with in my three children I have to consider what is required of me.  Those words remind me of a verse in Micah.  Micah 6:8 says "He has shown thee, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you, but to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with Thy God.  I always go back to that verse when I am unsure of what to do and draw out the 3 main objectives:

1st~ Do justly.  I looked it up in the Strong's concordance and the idea is to be discerning and to make wise judgements.  How often are we as mother's of more than one child called on to make judgements.  My latest have had to do with the life altering decision of who gets to ride shotgun  than any other thing.  For younger kids it can be how long to nurse or whether or not to use a pacifier and for how long. There are those everyday issues and then as our children grow older there are the heart wrenching issues of relationships.  We have to be discerning in regards to what we allow in our homes and where we allow our kids to go, what music to let them listen to, what movies to see, what athletic events to participate in, to when they just need someone to listen to them until the burdens of their hearts begin to flow.  We must make wise judgements of our selves.  Are we setting the example out little ones need to see?  We have to do our best to do what we know is right.  Our primary role is being wife to their daddy.  We must show them love and honor. The kids must see that. If we neglect that foundation we will start seeing lots of cracks in the walls of our spiritual houses. We'll see insecurity and fear in our kids.  Yes, justice is a big responsibility and certainly impacts the little immortal souls of our children.  How can we do it?

2nd~ Love mercy.  This is one of my favorites because God has kindly gifted me with mercy.  Looking that one up in Strong's gave me a slightly different idea that I thought it would.  It gives the idea of deeds of devotion and acts of kindness.  It's more about loving to show mercy by serving in faithfulness.  I get the idea that a meal on the table or a band-aid on a skinned knee fills that bill.  I also think it extends to forgiving our kids and our husbands fully just as Christ did us.  It's about showing compassion intentionally even if we don't feel it.  These are little immortal souls.  What profit will our anger and frustration have for us or them if not tempered with mercy.  What a sweet example we set for them when, after they receive discipline, we extend them mercy.  We get to show them the love of God.  And one of my favorite points in Chip Ingram's "Effective Parenting In a Defective World" is that we not to teach our children to be independent but to transfer their dependence on us to dependence on God.  I imagine it as my child's hand in my hand in God's hand.  Then I slowly slip my hand out so his hand rests in God's.  Oh my hand will still be in God's but in my own relationship.

3 Walk Humbly with your God.  This is it!  This is where it all comes together.  On my own, left to my own resources I will fail miserably.  How will I ever be able to make wise judements and be discerning?  By walking hand in hand with my Savior and learning from Him.  My posture must be that of humility because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Oh how I need grace!  The grace of God is not only how we are forgiven but also empowers us with wisdom and strength.  We must choose to walk closely with the heart attitude of needing God's wisdom for every situation!  How will I be able to faithfully serve my family, bandage knees, break up fights, decide who rides shotgun, honor my husband, answer the phone cheerfully, have dinner on the table, do the never ending piles of laundry and so on, with a heart of kindness and mercy?  Walk humbly with my God.  That is the only way. Honestly, I don't do all of those things but I think that's where some walking justly comes in.  Do what's right.  Sometimes doing what's right involves not doing the dishes but reading with the kids instead.  We must be in His word, learn from Him, have conversation with Him.  I say conversation because it's equally as important to listen in prayer as it is to talk to God.  In the frenzy of life we rush past the listening part.  We often pour out our list of wants and needs and close with our amen without pause to hear from our sweet Father.  He wants to direct us in His infinite wisdom but we forget to listen.  How crazy is that?  The God of the universe who controls all things has a little advice for us but we are off and running before He can offer it.  Walk Humbly and you will be equipped for impacting the eternal souls of those around you.

Yes, we have a great deal of power in the world.  But let's purpose together to view each other, our husbands, our children, our church family, and even the lost with the perspective that we have never met a mere mortal.  Our brief moments, days, or years with people could change things for their eternity.  I think that's incredibly exciting and challenging.  It may not always be easy to do justly, love mercy or walk humbly with our God. We may really need each other.  I'm game.  How about you?