So here goes...
Annika,
There are so many things I want to tell you. I know that's shocking coming from me. But it's true. I think of all the sweet words of encouragement or advice I got when I was a new mom. All I can think of now is how overwhelming it all felt. I couldn't imagine how I was going to be all those things, all time. I'll tell you what you already know, I wasn't all those things all the time. I have probably made every mistake I vowed I would never make. I will forever be grateful for God's amazing and preserving grace. That, in a nutshell is what I know God wants you to know. GRACE. As I have grown in my relationship with Christ I have just scratched the surface of all that grace is. There are two words commonly linked throughout scripture that paint a picture of grace for us. As we read verses containing them, we roll them off our tongues as if to get past them to get to the meat of the verse, and yet, without them there is no meat to the verse. Mercy and Truth. Mercy and Truth go hand in hand.
I could tell you the little things to do to minister to your precious new baby. But something tells me that will not be a struggle to you. I will tell you to always honor Jeff, which I know you will try to always do. I could tell you to have a daily time with the Lord, and that may overwhelm you at times. So many do's and don't's, so little time.
What I will encourage you with is that being a good mother has so much less to do with what you do than it has to do with who you are. That is an encouraging thought to me as I think of you and Jeff as parents. Every time a young couple who has a sincere devotion to the Lord is having a baby, my heart is glad. I think that through the joys and sorrows, the trials and celebrations, the shaping and molding of your lives is making the world a better place and the cause of Christ is furthered. You'll certainly be raising and training her but she will also be used to train you. What a wonderful cause for celebration!
As you read the Scriptures you will see truth and mercy, kind and faithfulness, together. Take the time to think of just that and all it means. You have no doubt heard and read Proverbs 3:5 & 6 a few times so lets back up and take a look at the whole passage.
| << Proverbs 3 >> American King James Version |
1 My son, forget not my law; but let your heart keep my commandments:2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to you.
3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you: bind them about your neck; write them on the table of your heart:
4 So shall you find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.
As I read this, I wonder, how would mercy and truth forsake me? The idea is not to let them get away from your heart and mind. Know God's heart and His character. Of course the best way to do that is through His word. But not in the sense of requirement but in relationship. If you desire to be a good mother, strengthen your relationship with your Heavenly Father. He wants you to know His commandments and perform them outwardly to others, binding them on your neck; and inwardly by writing them on your heart. The more you know Him the more you will know truth and mercy. I sort of see them working like the muscles in your arms. In truth you lift your child up, look her in her little eyes and teach, and in mercy you gently lower her back down and scoot her on her little way. It's about balance. Both are important. Without truth you can never lift them up out of their sin and without mercy you will hurt them when you put them back down. And what's more, it is a mercy to teach your children truth. When God tells us not to do something, we are blessed by obeying because God's heart for us is good. He wants to protect us and give us good things.
Scott and I have learned over the years how to balance one another. Essentially, he is truth and I am mercy. So who do you think the kids ask when they want something. I have learned that both are important and I try to think first what Scott would say and if my argument to it would be valid. :) We know our natural instincts, mine is yes and Scott's is no. It's so funny. If I'm worn out it takes more out of me to say no whereas Scott is the opposite. (which is probably wiser) Either one of us on our own would be parenting out of balance and either spoil or exasperate our kids. As we have matured in our relationship with each other and our relationship with the Lord we have learned to be more balanced individually. In virtually every situation both truth and mercy are necessary. The truth can be painful but will bring safety and wisdom and their hearts can be changed when truth is applied with mercy. When we fail we need both to be corrected with truth so that we can learn from our mistake. And we need mercy or else we would surely lose heart. We need mercy to pick us back up and scoot us on our way. That loving, forgiving, acceptance will enable us to walk out the truth we have learned.
These are just some thoughts to ponder as you are rocking your little sweetheart. It will be hard to imagine at first ever needing to discipline but you know God's word tells us that foolishness is bound up in that cuddly little heart. You will need to use the rod of reproof to drive it from her. You won't have to teach her how to sin. It comes naturally. But as you spend time in God's word you will be prepared to deal with those things as they come. And as the most familiar part of our passage goes, you'll be able to 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.' God has confidently and intentionally give this particular little bundle of you joy to you and Jeff. You are the perfect choice. And as you trust in Him to direct you, you will be the best parents your children could ever have!
As I read this, I wonder, how would mercy and truth forsake me? The idea is not to let them get away from your heart and mind. Know God's heart and His character. Of course the best way to do that is through His word. But not in the sense of requirement but in relationship. If you desire to be a good mother, strengthen your relationship with your Heavenly Father. He wants you to know His commandments and perform them outwardly to others, binding them on your neck; and inwardly by writing them on your heart. The more you know Him the more you will know truth and mercy. I sort of see them working like the muscles in your arms. In truth you lift your child up, look her in her little eyes and teach, and in mercy you gently lower her back down and scoot her on her little way. It's about balance. Both are important. Without truth you can never lift them up out of their sin and without mercy you will hurt them when you put them back down. And what's more, it is a mercy to teach your children truth. When God tells us not to do something, we are blessed by obeying because God's heart for us is good. He wants to protect us and give us good things.
Scott and I have learned over the years how to balance one another. Essentially, he is truth and I am mercy. So who do you think the kids ask when they want something. I have learned that both are important and I try to think first what Scott would say and if my argument to it would be valid. :) We know our natural instincts, mine is yes and Scott's is no. It's so funny. If I'm worn out it takes more out of me to say no whereas Scott is the opposite. (which is probably wiser) Either one of us on our own would be parenting out of balance and either spoil or exasperate our kids. As we have matured in our relationship with each other and our relationship with the Lord we have learned to be more balanced individually. In virtually every situation both truth and mercy are necessary. The truth can be painful but will bring safety and wisdom and their hearts can be changed when truth is applied with mercy. When we fail we need both to be corrected with truth so that we can learn from our mistake. And we need mercy or else we would surely lose heart. We need mercy to pick us back up and scoot us on our way. That loving, forgiving, acceptance will enable us to walk out the truth we have learned.
These are just some thoughts to ponder as you are rocking your little sweetheart. It will be hard to imagine at first ever needing to discipline but you know God's word tells us that foolishness is bound up in that cuddly little heart. You will need to use the rod of reproof to drive it from her. You won't have to teach her how to sin. It comes naturally. But as you spend time in God's word you will be prepared to deal with those things as they come. And as the most familiar part of our passage goes, you'll be able to 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.' God has confidently and intentionally give this particular little bundle of you joy to you and Jeff. You are the perfect choice. And as you trust in Him to direct you, you will be the best parents your children could ever have!
Scott and I have learned over the years how to balance one another. Essentially, he is truth and I am mercy. So who do you think the kids ask when they want something. I have learned that both are important and I try to think first what Scott would say and if my argument to it would be valid. :) We know our natural instincts, mine is yes and Scott's is no. It's so funny. If I'm worn out it takes more out of me to say no whereas Scott is the opposite. (which is probably wiser) Either one of us on our own would be parenting out of balance and either spoil or exasperate our kids. As we have matured in our relationship with each other and our relationship with the Lord we have learned to be more balanced individually. In virtually every situation both truth and mercy are necessary. The truth can be painful but will bring safety and wisdom and their hearts can be changed when truth is applied with mercy. When we fail we need both to be corrected with truth so that we can learn from our mistake. And we need mercy or else we would surely lose heart. We need mercy to pick us back up and scoot us on our way. That loving, forgiving, acceptance will enable us to walk out the truth we have learned.
These are just some thoughts to ponder as you are rocking your little sweetheart. It will be hard to imagine at first ever needing to discipline but you know God's word tells us that foolishness is bound up in that cuddly little heart. You will need to use the rod of reproof to drive it from her. You won't have to teach her how to sin. It comes naturally. But as you spend time in God's word you will be prepared to deal with those things as they come. And as the most familiar part of our passage goes, you'll be able to 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.' God has confidently and intentionally give this particular little bundle of you joy to you and Jeff. You are the perfect choice. And as you trust in Him to direct you, you will be the best parents your children could ever have!
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